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Friday, December 24, 2004
life Well... I haven't posted in a while about my life and what's been happening so here it goes: I've been spending more time with Stephanie lately and it's been real nice. I've spent the night at her house twice in the last week. It has been nice waking up with her. She doesn't want a relationship right now, and the funny thing is, I don't think I do either. No matter what happens though I'm enjoying myself now and that's all that matters, no point in poluting the present by pushing for the future right? Wednesday I got a tattoo. It's on my back. It's my gaelic word Dioghras along with the celtic knotwork I designed. I love it! It's really sore though and I've been amazed at my ability to get the aquaphor on it speaking it's between my shoulderblades and in one of the most difficult to reach spots lol. After I got the tattoo done on Wednesday I went over to Stephanie's house. We talked and enjoyed eachother's company, it was good. She's so tender and gentle. It almost surprised me I guess..... hrmm... well other than work work work, today tomorrow, sunday, not monday (it's my birthday!) tuesday, wednesday, off thursday then back to the grind for friday through tuesday.... yay! well I better start getting ready for work now... Tuesday, December 21, 2004
a good night today i sit in a chair not my own surrounded by things that are not mine and i'm confortable. I am comfortable in your home. After the joy we shared last night I can only hope I will be spending more time amongst your things. after last night I am struck with the oddest sensation of wakefullness of sunrise and of night though at the same time i'm caught in a dream state where nothing seems quite real i wish i could have laid in your arms longer i will lay in your arms again. Sunday, December 12, 2004
cry for help I've decided to take the advice of several of my friends, in a way at least. I've started myself a blog though I'm not sure I like the name or anything about it thus far. It will be only of my poetry. I will in fact move all of the poetry from my blog here over to there. Here's where the cry for help comes in however. For me, in order to write somewhere, even online, I must live there. Having close to no html ability I was curious if any of the people who frequent my blog might either be able to themselves or know someone who might be able to help design me a blog (and by help I mean do all the actual work, or at least be willing to try and explain how to do it myself.) This blog is not the work of myself but of a good friend of mine here's where you can find her blog (note: sexually explicit) I was thinking something soft and sensual in warm earth tones. well, if anyone is interested in helping I'd be very thankful. to reach me just send your email to me via the contact button on the lower right hand corner of this blog under all of the colorbars... Monday, December 06, 2004
flights of fantasy Well I got my Tegan and Sara: If it was you CD and my Marry Me Jane CD in the mail, along with my super cheap copy of Tanith Lee's Silver Metal Lover. I'm very excited about this hehe. I've been listening to T&S for a while now and I really do like them a lot. at any rate here's what happened yesterday... I left home early yesterday so that I might clean my car and whatnot.. went to coffee with Stephanie. I had a lot of fun. We get along really well, have very similar tastes in music and movies and humor. She showed me the Truckee River which I had yet to find, I knew it existed just hadn't seen it hehe... We went across the street to this little eclectic shop, it was really interesting. There were all kinds of artwork and photography, some little art/craft projects, gave me some great ideas for Christmas gifts. Capricorn Horriscope Local Reno Paper Dec 5, 2004 When you speak about love, you speak with a deep, penetrating, forceful tone. It's because you've figured out things you're looking for that you weren't getting. Now, you're ready, and you know it's out there. Go get it. Monday, November 29, 2004
life Well... life is going well. Working a lot as per my usual. Went out last night with Crystal. Had a lot of fun. It was very interesting. Woke up this morning and went to an auto place so she could find a new pedal for her clutch. While we were there I tried helping her get a steeringwheel cover out of the display it was in (it should just slide out but it was stuck) at any rate I jerked backwards and when I looked at the thumb on my left hand there was a huge chunk of skin hanging off barely still connected by a small peice of cuticle. I knew it was going to start bleeding so I rushed in back and asked them for a bandaid. The lady spent the next ten minutes unsucessfully getting the first aid kit open and lecturing me for trying to get steering wheels out, "they're locked for a reason" as I tried to tell her it was the steering wheel covers which were NOT locked but she wouldn't listen hehe... anyways my hand is fine, it looks kinda funny and is pretty sore but it's not anything I'd get stitches for apparently (could have fooled me hehe) dyed my hair tonight it didn't turn out as red as I wanted it to but owell... Wednesday, November 24, 2004
musings Midnight musings of an acustic nature in a bed so warm and inviting you might call it home this skin this skin I've lived here I've breathed here I've even attempted to breed here It felt so old as though it was all I'd ever known all I ever would know it felt uncomfortable now suddenly all at once I'm home. sensory memory of a lost thought a waking illusory vision of joy and waking of seldom heard words words that mean so little in the context of all that we "know" all that we feel all that we intuitively and inherantly are. late night (early morning?) with B.B. King Well, it's nearly 3a.m. and I'm not really tired. I finished Conversations with God yesterday. I'm still kind of reeling though I've restarted it now. Morgan would be proud. His happy little minion .. ooer I mean convert.. ooer.. I mean... uhh... follower? no... he'd like that though, I'm just messing around, maybe the time is getting to me after all. Oh here's one for Morgan... A fly.... lol inside joke. Anyone else disregard most of what I've said it won't make much sense outside of the context of our warped minds. Anyways. That was my sleep-dep rant. Friday, November 19, 2004
memories, all alone in the mooonlight.. lalalalalalalallaaaala I felt like last night was an episode of "this is your life" or something heh... My dad and I sat down and listened to more of my Montreal CD's, then we watched my graduation tape. I saw my ex graduate. How is it that she's been a non-existant in my life for nearly (over?) two years and I still find a reason to think about her every day. Then we watched my neice being born. I remember being down here in Nevada during a few false alarms then having to fly home to get to school on time. Dad called just a few days later to tell me my neice had been born. I was so pissed that I had missed it by literally a day or two. I've seen the tape before so it wasn't anything shocking, but I still found myself clenching my knees together. I really want children. I want to give birth to children. Just not looking forward to the pain, which is the least of my worries when it comes to children. All the real hurtles come after birth heh... It's amazing how montreal seemed like yesterday, my graduation seems like a decade ago, and I still can't believe that my neice is almost 6 years old. Well, off to work I go like a good little minion. Thursday, November 18, 2004
pj day I joined an LJ community called Pretty_Lesbians a while back. I enjoy the frequency with which every one posts there, and I feel better about things than I ever have, I just see pictures of women who I find attractive, for whatever reason, and know that they are like me. Since coming out I've lived in a state of perpetual acceptance and well, I've been surrounded by glbtq people almost constantly. Since moving here though it's been a lot different. I've only found a few people who are GLBTQ... yesterday I was at the mall with a coworker (She has no transportation and needed new work clothes) I haven't come out to her yet, not because I'm hiding it, I just haven't found a way to work it into a conversation yet. At any rate I saw these two guys kissing over a piercing pagoda thingy in the center walkway, I found myself staring. I all of a sudden became concerned that they thought i was homophobic or thought they were freaks, when in reality i wanted to say "hey! You're like me! Where are the rest of us?" I don't know, I make it sound like some kind of underground secret society, but that's only because that's the way it's felt here. Especially in comparison to how things were in Washington. *sigh* Keri and I broke up in May. Feels like the blink of an eye. I don't miss her, not since I found out what she's really like. Before that I only missed what I thought she was. Sunday, November 14, 2004
whoohoo blahs Well I got my phone replaced. It cost me $50 which is better than the $500 the phone is actually worth, but still more than I wanted to pay to replace a phone I only bought less than a week ago. They overnight shipped it to me so I didn't have to go more than 12 hours without a phone. It was pretty impressive heh... I've been thinking about Brandi a lot lately. I still feel unresolved. I'm pretty sure I always will. I wished so strongly for her to hate me when everything happened, and now I'm sure I got my wish. Now I just want to talk to her, see how she's doing, what her life has been like. We are different people now so it's not like I want us to get back together, I'm sure she's still with her girlfriend and whatnot. That is NOT the purpose of my inquiry. She just made this huge difference in my life, she's someone important to me and I just wish we could have kept in touch. It's been about two and half years since we broke up. Decent amount of time. I'm pretty sure I'm over wanting to be with her still, I'm just not over the fact that she has no place in my life. Or rather there is a place for her, that can never be filled. First loves. *sigh*
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 Music is passionate love  Tank girl is bad-ass mother-fucker love  To be a lesbian is to be in love.  Feet are love  Jones Soda is bubbly love  C.S.I. is graphic love  Janis Joplin is beautiful talented love
 You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one...  Capricorn is Ambitious Love  Alyson Hannigan is Why Can't You Be A Lesbian? love.  Fight Club is chaotic love  Chuck Palahniuk is psychological love   CONTACT CREDITS
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